How to not be a Bridezilla
You have us…so already your insanity is down more than it would be! However, there is always one or two things that with irk you somewhere in the planning. Whether it is the in-laws, the dress fitting, a bridesmaid drama, or budget…we are here to help. Remember that, along with the following words of wisdom!
-Put on those shades and step into the spotlight!
When you are in the zone of, "Everyday is wear the 'Mrs. Smith to-be' shirt" then you got my point! Many brides are too busy researching this, finding matching these to go with that, tying bows on this…stop! Put down what you are doing for a day, put on some sunglasses and step into that bridal spotlight! Do a few hair flips and adorable smiles for the paparazzi... aka your groom, family and friends. Don't tell me you are too modest and don't want to feel rude. The engagement should be enjoyed and memorable because it will go by too quickly. There is difference between Bridezilla and Loving being a bride! Work it, Own it, and go get your nails done!
-Give your Bridesmaids flexibility:
You might be tempted to plan every last detail of your bridesmaids' outfits, especially if doing so will make you look better at the altar. But, that can cause potential problems. First, even though your bridesmaids expect to wear the dress that you select for them, they will want flexibility with their shoes, makeup, and hair. It may be your right as a bride-to-be to demand their compliance, but they won't like it. Second, the more details you nitpick, the more likely you will lose your perspective.
Sometimes preparation of a wedding can be exhausting because you are getting ideas from your Mom, your soon to be Mother-in-law, your friends, your fiancé’s sister, your Aunt Bea in Wisconsin, the minister… Just simply smile and say, “Oh what a great idea,” then forget about it. This is YOUR wedding, it should reflect YOUR style! If you are someone that worries about pleasing everyone, don’t. You never will please everyone and because the day belongs to you and your groom (not them), you don’t have to.
Make a “look-book” so you can show the vendors the visions that you have been dreaming of since you were little. It is easier to convey your wants and needs this way, as opposed to trying to create your dream wedding with words. Use Pintrest, a scrapbook, pictures torn from magazines, and colors and fabrics that combine to show the ambiance of your day. This won’t waste time, this won’t have you hurt anyones feelings when they offer ideas. What this will do is put you and your vendors (and me) on the same page! I have had brides that give me extrememly specific details of what they want and I have had brides that give me one item and tell me to go crazy. For example, one bride gave me her grandmother’s gorgeous lace purse, another gave me a bark cake stand and peach ribbon, another gave me a pair of shoes and a black damask shawl...it sets the tone.
You are stressing and wishing for and wanting everything you see. You want huge centerpieces, flip flops for the guests, extravagant cake, etc. but your budget will only allow for half of it. Relax and take some time to envision you are a guest at your own wedding. What do you notice right away? Which of the details fade into the background? What is amazing and what is only OK? Maybe the flowers in a certain area of a room could be cut in half because hardly anyone will see them. Perhaps you think the huge cake you wanted actually might be do-able with a dummy cake. When you envision all of your ideas together, you might find some things will go unnoticed and are not necessary. You may ALSO realize that all the ideas, though wonderful, may be too much if all were done together.
Yes, easier said than done and when have you have been to the studio and not seen Elle or Jillian with there “E” of “J” cups of coffee…but it is the truth. Caffeine may get you through the late nights of tying bows on paper, but too much will just make you more stressed out, it may make you moody and edgy. The under-eye circles are not pretty either! Try natural energy sources such as Cayenne, Mate tea, Gotu Kola, Ho Shou Wu, & Ginseng
-Plan your wedding dress around your normal weight:
Some of us can afford to shed one or two extra pounds. But, launching a do or die weight loss regimen for the sole purpose of squeezing into your wedding gown is a mistake. It takes a lot out of you. Crash diets can be physically and emotionally exhausting. While you may look good standing at the altar, there is also a chance you will be hungry, cranky, and unable to enjoy yourself. Not savoring your big day would be a shame. If you have time to start a weight loss plan that is gradual and non-exhausting, and won't affect your happiness, sure, you can always get your dress taken in. A "one pound every week or 2" type of regimen is fine, but juice diets and fasts the week of your wedding-don't even tell us!
-Remember how you felt when you said yes:
Relax! Remember that feeling of giddiness when your engagement began? You only get the engagement feelings once a lifetime (maybe twice or three times) so enjoy being a bride!! I can’t tell you how many times I tell my brides to RELAX and soak it up because it goes by so fast. You do not want to look back and think about how you should not have been that Bridezilla to your new husband’s grandma, or how you should have enjoyed your shower a little more or have gone to all those bridal shows. You want everything to be perfect, of course. And often, it seems like the only way to get things done is to do it yourself. But, there lies the road to pre-wedding insanity. Do yourself (and everyone else) a favor. Loosen your grip on the wedding planning reins and let yourself enjoy your engagement. You will feel more relaxed and happier around the people you love. And in the end, that might prove more enjoyable than a perfect wedding day. You do not want to have feelings of regret about how you treated those who were there to support you.
Not only to look great in your gown, but excercise releases endorphins which make you happy! Your stress will go down! Not only that, the glow your skin will get will make every glance in the mirror delicious.
Photography is a necessity when it comes to preserving the many memories of your wedding day. One common complaint amongst brides, however, is that the photographer –though his pictures may be beautiful –did not capture the one image that they wanted most. As such, it has become widely recommended that, before the big day, the bride should set aside a moment in her busy schedule to compile a written inventory of photo ideas –also known as a “photographer’s list” –so that the photographer may know of what particulars he is to focus on in advance. That way, both parties will be on the same level and you –the bride –will have one less stress factor on your special day.
-Let others handle the rehearsal dinner as a party for you:
Traditionally, the responsibility of organizing the rehearsal dinner has fallen on others' shoulders. In most cases, you won't be involved (other than showing up and enjoying the attention, of course). What's more, everyone who attends understands that you played no part in putting it together. That means the style, decor, food, and other features won't be associated with your tastes. The parents of the groom will often take the reins in arranging the rehearsal dinner. If they ask for your advice, provide it. Otherwise, sit back and let them handle the details. Its one less thing for you to worry about.
-Don't forget your hobby:
Do you love to paint? Maybe you love to shop? You are a runner or a hiker? The engagement is a crazy busy time, yes, but don’t forget to mellow out and do what you love! Sometimes just not doing ordinary things like “date night” on Wednesday nights with your fiancé or “girls night” with your maids can cause anxiety. Do not forget the things you love to do in this crazy time. It keeps you focused, happy, and motivated!